We met a man at Bristol yesterday. He was scary. He said scary things. One of them was:
"I have promised myself I would never, never hit a woman." I thought to myself: If you have to promise yourself that then I don't know. There is this strange, outrageous idea that a man's promise not to use violence against women shows that he is an honorable man. No doubt you have heard the following: "It's contemptible to hit a woman." Woman are weak beings who cannot defend themselves like a man can. You shouldn't hit them even if you feel the urge to. Oh you're so chivalrous, here's a man who know how to treat women!
But it is a telling fact that I said nothing to what the man said. Nobody did.
Questions about machismo violence are still very hard to deal with in a Finnish context. There are petty explanations, excuses and a whole load of sentimentality. (In an article in a local newspaper a researcher recommended that boys should find new masculinities. I'm not sure what that means.)
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